WHAMMY

If we are just meeting, welcome. My name is Beth. And a bunch of people in my life call me by my nickname, Bunny. I don’t have a preference, so call me whichever you like most. I’m starting this site as a way to share myself in a way that short form social media has squashed like a crunchy, beautiful beetle.

We are all so much more rich, complicated, and quirky than we can express in a newsfeed or scrolling through photos. I am a confessed chronic documenter and storyteller. I believe everyone’s life is fascinating, from the most mundane details to the daring risks we are willing to take daily to make our hearts feel full. I am a dreamer, yet a hardcore realist. I am a hopeless romantic, and also a complete mess of confusion, rage, and breathless whimsy.

I am 48 years old. Your typical middle aged, too chubby, bifocaled Generation Xer who is totally okay with driving a minivan, because it’s got super cold air conditioning, bitchin’ stow away seats, and can easily carry my little family plus my wheelchair and electric handcycle, which I call my Chopper. Yes, I am disabled. And I’m finally okay with saying that with no disclaimers.

Photo of manual wheelchair with attached electric handcycle.

I lost almost 20 years of my life to a mystery illness that kept me debilitated, mostly housebound, and eventually mostly bedbound. I went through multiple misdiagnoses, ranging from the benign diagnosis of being out of shape all the way up to deadly diagnoses, such as Autoimmune Encephalitis and Myasthenia Gravis. I lost most of my 30s and most of my 40s to maintaining and trying to keep myself alive, while raising my only son from infancy into a gorgeous and talented young man of 15, at the time of this writing. I have been more than gifted with a great husband, who is my best friend, and my little family has supported me unconditionally, even without any hope for me being correctly diagnosed or ever treated. And then it happened.

On June 1st, 2019 I finally got hit by the WHAMMY I was looking for. On that day, I started a drug called Carbidopa-Levodopa. Levadopa is a synthetic form of L-Dopa, made popular by the 90s hit movie, starring Robin Williams and Robert DeNiro called Awakenings! If you have haven’t seen it. Go watch it. It was directed by Penny Marshall, and Marge from the Simpsons is in it. You’ll love it. Trust me. Here’s a link to the trailer… Awakenings Trailer (1990)

L-Dopa is a precursor to dopamine. Dopamine is one of your brain’s most important neurotransmitters. Here’s a snippet about dopamine from a great article in Psychology Today. Read the Entire Article: Dopamine

What Is Dopamine?

Dopamine is one of the brain’s neurotransmitters—a chemical that ferries information between neurons. Dopamine helps regulate movement, attention, learning, and emotional responses. It also enables us not only to see rewards but to take action to move toward them. Since dopamine contributes to feelings of pleasures and satisfaction as part of the reward system, the neurotransmitter also plays a part in addiction.

Dopamine is heavily involved in the motor system. When the brain fails to produce enough dopamine, it can result in Parkinson’s disease. The primary treatment for Parkinson’s disease, therefore, is a drug called L-dopa, which spurs the production of dopamine.

Apparently, I am extremely deficient in dopamine. I will talk more in another post about how I figured this out, and what tests are being run to determine exactly why, but by supplementing my body with 800-1000 MG of pharmaceutical synthetic L-Dopa, I went from wheelchair to walking a mile in EIGHT DAYS. That may sound hard to believe. It certainly was for me! Here’s a photo of the morning that I walked my first mile, without a cane, walker, or wheeelchair. Powered only by my flat Fred Flintstone feet, I walked over 2,000 steps! I still don’t have an “official diagnosis”, but I’m pretty sure it will land somewhere close to Dopa Responsive Dystonia, if you want to Google that.

Photo of Fitness Watch Showing Time as 7 am and 2,000 steps

Since my WHAMMY, I have been on L-Dopa for almost 12 weeks. I have undergone a transformation of epic proportion. I feel better than I have since 2003. That was 16 years ago. I’m walking now, standing (STANDING!!!), showering instead of taking baths, and my brain is starting to come fully back online. I have been creating art again. I am an actress, puppeteer, photographer, and graphic artist from my past life. Right now, I am exploring combining photography and hand painting in a unique technique that I call Pigmentology! This site is a place where I can celebrate, mourn, talk about surviving chronic illness, answer questions, help people who are alone and have been lost, like me.

I will be talking about the ups and downs of daily life, dopamine, Dystonia, Parkinsonism, health, art, love, documentaries, my mighty dog Geronimo, and you know… stuff. Subscribe below if you want to get email updates. You can also follow me on Facebook or Instagram. I’ll link to all of that stuff later. I’m still working on this site, adding menus, writing the blah blah blah stuff. But I’ve tackled the blank white screen. First entry in the books.

I look forward to sharing with you, and hearing from you. Everything will be categorized, so, if you don’t want to read about my artistic process or my health crap, you can click the category you’re most interested in. Categories will show up as I begin to write about them.

Wake me up before you go go.
BunBun